Not only is he eneagled, not only is he a flagophile, not only did he create the very word "truthiness," Stephen Colbert is the Greatest Living American. Now if only he wanted the Dr. Ruth of Ornithology to explain the birds and the bees to Stephen Junior! This week my radio programs are all done in my Dr. Ruth capacity. Monday was about the equipment birds have. Tuesday is how that equipment is readied for breeding. Wednesday is how birds do it. Tomorrow will be the scoop on bird poop. And Friday will provide the answer to the eternal question, do birds fart?
Now come on, Stephen. I need to get people to notice my book, 101 Ways to Help Birds, which I put my heart and soul into researching and writing for three years. You need your son to know the facts of life before he has to learn them on the streets. Wouldn't this be a win-win situation?